Find Your Smile and Feel the Joy

Found my smile today. It was buried under a pile of chores; dog walks, cleaning, shopping, work, and all of the worries that accompany a day. When did I lose it? When did I tuck it away; no longer something that came freely the way it did when I was a child? The carefree after school days when I could not wait to come home, change into play clothing, and run out back to play with the boys. A tomb-boy I was and good at it. I kept up with the best of them; played football and baseball. Bases loaded, I hit the home run. Hide and seek and pinky ball against the wall were my favorites. At dusk, the mysterious shapes and shadows said it was time to go inside. Slowly, and somewhat begrudgingly, I walked towards the house wondering why the day and the carefreeness of play had to end. Still, as a child, I was able to find my smile. Tomorrow was another day of play. And true to form, after school, I was the first kid out in the alley knocking on neighbor's doors letting the  kids know that it was time to come out and play. Somewhere along way into adulthood, I lost the carefree way I used to play, and in the process I lost my smile. Perhaps it was after the first, or was it the second divorce, or the death of my third husband. Maybe it was the years watching him struggle through rounds of chemo and radiation knowing the futility of that type of cure for him. Perhaps it was after his estate was divided for his kids-difficult children to please. Or maybe it was after 911and the support groups I ran soothing other’s worries, containing my own.

However, today, I found my smile again, and when I did my heart overflowed with joy-a different kind of joy than I felt when I bounced the pinky ball over and over against the wall. It was the joy of knowing that I have a Higher Power that is forever connected to me. A Higher Power that has been with me through-out my life; through the hard times, the easier times, the tired times, the manic times. A Higher Power that has been, and always will be there with me, guiding, encouraging and moving me forward, opening and easing my mind and heart reminding me to let go, relax, enjoy the moment, and to smile.

Love, Light, Healing and Many Blessings,

Ruth Starseed
http://www.RelaxationInternational.com
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