At the end of my mother’s life the family went into counseling. She said, “I wish I had done this before.” My mother was a woman in charge of her life; in control of herself and those around her. She loved her family and was excited to discover new things, gain insight, and grow in wisdom. Counseling would give her the opportunity. She appreciated the family support and agreement that we would attend. She was intensely interested in therapy something she had never experienced before. I, a psychotherapist knew the reasons why we as a blended family had not gone into counseling before this time. Now, at the end of my mother’s life it was too late. With the short time she had left we attended a few sessions; my step-father played his protective role of her. For him family therapy was too confrontational and threatening; his wife was dying; he did not want to upset her with emotional exchange. My step-father could not see that she yearned for insight and wisdom even during her final days on earth. Although I look back on this time as a missed opportunity for psychological and spiritual growth, today, when I am in need of healing, I seek support through different healing modalities including group support. Whether as a participant or facilitator, in a psychotherapeutic setting, we grow from feedback and interaction with others. Although sometimes confrontational, the end result-wisdom and empowerment.
I heard it said that life is painful, suffering is optional. Like my step-father, I wonder how many times I missed opportunities by choosing to avoid emotional pain and the wisdom it can ultimately bring yet encouraging others to explore their personality and emotional wounds. Understandably, emotions can make us feel weak and vulnerable the way we felt as children. Avoiding painful and intense feelings is understandable; anger, fear, resentment, jealousy to name just a few of the hundreds of human emotions we can experience is challenging. Perhaps we fear that we will suffer too long or lose control. However, exploring emotions brings insight; emotions help us to stretch and grow into a new self and direct us onto a path of self-discovery uncovering unknown hidden parts of the psyche. At any point in the life cycle, we have the opportunity to grow and discover ourselves anew, even during the final days on earth.
Love, Light, Healing and Many Blessings,
Ruth Starseed Hoskins
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